Dead Flowers Always Become Brighter
by carrie.grace.lawrence
Summary: Bella found she has cancer a month after Edward left. All her friends are out at college living their lives, while Bella is stuck in a hospital room. The only thing she hopes for is to live to see the Cullens once more.FULL SUM INSIDE! PLEASE READ
1. Preface

Dead Flowers, Always Become Brighter

Summary:

Bella found she has cancer a month after Edward left. All her friends are out at college living their lives, while Bella is stuck in a hospital room. The only thing keeping her going is Jacob and the hope that Alice will see her with cancer and come back. But what was she expecting if she came? Sympathy? Pity? Find out as you look through the journey of Bella, struggling with cancer through her eyes.

Preface:

That was the truth, I was battling cancer. Dr. Snow diagnosed me and then Charlie wanted a second opinion so Dr. Snow made the same diagnosis. I have pancreatic cancer. I was losing weight almost every other day and I was having abdominal pain. Charlie took me to the doctor and the doctor told me to go to the hospital.

I was dying from cancer, and as bald as I was, I found myself not being able to give up. Jacob Black was my inspiration, he made me feel good. He made me feel good; he made the pain go away, both from the cancer and from the heartbreak of losing Edward and the Cullens. I was no longer able to stay home; my new home was confided to a hospital bed.

I wondered if Alice had ever seen me go through this. If she did, was she really dumb enough to let me go through this without her? I needed her now more than ever, hell I was on my death bed, literally. If she wasn't coming she was officially the worst best friend a person could have.

I found praying for me to be strong and in a good mood spiked my recovery every once and a while. But it wasn't always the case. I also found praying for one of the Cullens to come back put me in a one in a million chance for me to see them.

I wouldn't even care if Rosalie came knocking on my door. I forgave her a long time ago, I didn't blame her. I would have been the same way or a little less tightly wound. But I didn't care anymore, I am dying and I'm letting everything play out in front of me. I was sick and tired of praying to a God that may not even exist.

**Hello and welcome to my story. This may not be the best preface, there may be tense confusion, and a few mistakes but I think this can be huge. Chapter one is posted so please review, this will make me so happy, and it makes me write faster. Thanks for reading and don't forget to review, Carriekakes**


	2. Prayers

Chapter 1

Today was my 21st birthday. Almost a two year cancer victim, 6 month hospital resident and the best friend of an IV tube stuck up my arm. No Cullen has shown up, worrying about me. But then again, what did I really expect if one of them showed up, sympathy? Their Pity? I was going in for testes when I received birthday mail that Jacob Black brought over.

"Feeling any better?" Jacob asked with a sympathetic smile.

"No, I feel like shit." I said groggy.

"You'll feel better soon." Jacob encouraged. I took the mail he had laid on the table that hovered over my hospital bed.

"Thanks for the mail." I said and opened one letter from Angela Weber.

_Bella, _

_Happy 21__st__ birthday. Hope you get better soon. I'll come visit in a few weeks when I get home for a quick break. Anyway, you'll get through it. A woman once told me I was a strong independent woman, and so are you. Happy Birthday, your friend, Angela Weber._

I smiled when she quoted me. Angela was always a good friend when it came to giving you words of encouragement

"Oh this is for you." Jacob smiled

"Thanks." I smiled as I took the box Jacob handed me. "Is this from you?" I asked with the little breath I had.

"Yes." Jacob nodded and brushed away a tear that had fallen. "Don't cry, just open it." Jacob smiled.

I took the bow off and stuck it on Jacob's head as a joke. I laughed as he looked up at it with a weird look. "So I look pretty?" Jacob joked.

"Stunning." I smiled. I lifted the lid and nestled into cotton was a promise bracelet with the word 'Bella' written across it. On the clasp it had a single charm on it. It was a wooden wolf. Carved into the side was the word, 'Hope'. I had Jacob tie it on and I read the card.

_Forever you will be my best friend, caner or not. You're still my BBB (Best Bud Bella) we'll get through it together. Always yours on your 21__st__ birthday, Jacob Black_

I cleared my throat, "Thank you Jacob, it's beautiful." I said, my voice cracking in a few places.

"You're welcome." Jacob smiled and kissed my bald head.

"I'm going to get something from the cafeteria, did you want anything?" He asked.

"No thanks." I said and he left the room.

I looked through the rest of the mail, and I got coupons for different restaurants, a letter from Mike Newton, Jessica Stanley, and from Mom and Phil. Mom and Phil was flying in next week to check on me. Usually Phil stayed in Jacksonville and Mom came, but Phil found vacation time in his baseball schedule.

_Dearest Bella,_

_Happy Birthday Darling, you are officially 21. Now you can num the pain with a little alcohol :) You'll get your gift next week when I see you. Hope you are doing well. You'll make it. You can get through anything. Just have a little faith, Love Mom and Phil._

I shut my eyes and prayed to whoever roamed the heavens, "Please let my mother's words are true. Lord help me to survive. Let my loved one be safe and healthy. Show me a sign. Dear God, just give me the strength and someone besides Jake to lean on." That was my daily prayer; I prayed it every day for the past year and a half.

"Miss. Swan, you have a visitor." Jenny the nurse smiled.

Behind her was a person I thought I would never see again. Ever.


	3. Mission Impossible

Previously:

_"Miss. Swan, you have a visitor." Jenny the nurse smiled._

_Behind her was a person I thought I would never see again. Ever._

Behind Jenny the nurse was Jasper Cullen.

"Thank you Jenny." I said and Jasper walked in.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I came to see you." Jasper said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Alice saw you get cancer, she wanted to come but Edward wouldn't let her." Jasper said. I cringed when he said his name.

"I'm sorry; I didn't think the name would upset you." Jasper apologized.

"Not, it's fine; no one says the names in front of me anymore." I told him.

"Names?" Jasper asked.

"All you, when you left I was a complete zombie, I have a whole in my heart that bleeds when I hear a name of a C-C-Cullen." I told him.

It was silent for a few minutes. I looked over Jasper's features, his blonde messy hair, and his dark almost a goldish red eye

"So why are you, Jasper Cullen here?" I asked.

"As you are my wife's best friend, I felt it was my duty to come and see you when she couldn't." Jasper said in a soldier voice.

"Well, thanks for coming." I smiled.

"It was no problem, Alice is trying to get here, but she is having trouble getting through Edward." Jasper explained.

"Why won't he let her through, I have cancer, I'm dying, does that not mean anything to him?" I asked.

"He doesn't know you have cancer." Jasper frowned.

"I would think he deserves to know." I told him.

"He'll just leave; he'll go to the Volturi to die with you." Jasper whispered. We had this discussion before, if I was to die, he would stay around, and he would move on and be with the family.

"He can't-- we've talked about this." I told Jasper.

"I know, but Edward's become very stubborn lately. He won't listen to anyone including Carlisle and Esme." Jasper sighed,

"Why, why did you all leave, I know what Edward said was not true, that I wasn't wanted." I asked, "I was going to go after him, but the cancer got in my way."

"Because of your birthday and because of James." Jasper said. "He didn't want you getting injured anymore because of what we are." Jasper stated.

"Jasper, you have to know, I didn't blame you once for what happen on my birthday. You were forgiven the moment it happened." I told him.

"Thank you Bella, that means a lot. More then you will ever know." Jasper smiled.

"So how did you escape?" I asked.

"I told Edward if he didn't let me hunt I would kill him and his precious Volvo." Jasper said,

"E-E-Edward always did love his Volvo." I smiled.

"We really did so damage huh?" Jasper pointed out.

I didn't answer. I didn't want to admit how much they had hurt me.

"Bella, I got you Jell-O---" Jacob said and stopped.

"What are you doing here?" Jacob spat.

"Jacob knocks it off. I'm not going to put up with it." I told him.

"You are seriously going to let one of them back into your life?!" Jacob asked.

"Jacob, leave Bella alone." Billy said as he wheeled himself in.

"Hello Jasper." Billy greeted.

"Hello Billy." Jasper nodded.

"Dad, you should be more on edge then I am." Jacob said.

"Jacob, outside, now!" Billy said and excused himself from the room.

Jacob shut the door and Jasper and I watched Billy and Jacob talk, from what I could read on their lips, they were fighting over Jasper being here.

"How long are you here for?" I asked Jasper.

"Until Alice can get here." Jasper smiled.

"You can stand to be here that long?" I asked.

"Our plan is when you are asleep I will go hunting and then be back in time when you wake up, When you go in for tests I will go hunting and if it gets super bad, then I go while you are awake." Jasper explained.

"Good plan." I agreed.

"Yeah, it was all on me." Jasper bragged.

I laughed and then coughed. "Don't laugh." Jasper smiled.

I pretended to zip my lips and throw away the key.

"Miss Swan." Dr. Snow came in.

"Good afternoon Dr. Snow." Jasper greeted.

"Jasper Cullen, what are you doing here?" He asked.

"Just visiting your favorite patient." Jasper smiled.

"Is Carlisle here with you?" He asked.

"No, he is stuck at the LA hospital." Jasper frowned.

"Right well, I need to take Bella in for tests; she'll be back in a few hours." Dr. Snow smiled.

"Alright." Jasper nodded. "See you later Bella." Jasper smiled.

"You'll be back right?" I asked.

"Right, until Alice gets here." He smiled Jenny came back in a wheeled the bed out of the room to the testing facility part of the hospital.

Jasper's POV.

Bella's blood wasn't as strong as it was. Even through the covers I could see she had lost _a lot _of weight. Once Dr. Snow and the nurses came in to take Bella away, I decided it as okay not to go hunting so I walked of the hospital and got out my phone and called my Alice.

"Jasper, Jasper, is she okay?" Alice asked worried.

"No, not physically and barely mentally stable." I told her.

"Oh no." Alice cried.

"Sweetie is Carlisle there, he needs to know and he needs to come see her for himself." I told Alice.

"He's at the hospital. Esme is here." Alice stated.

"Is Esme a doctor?" I asked.

"No." Alice pouted.

"How long until Carlisle is done his shift?" I asked.

"20 minutes." Alice said perkily.

"Tell him everything. He needs to be here for a second observation." I told her.

"Why is Dr. Snow not doing a good job?" Alice asked.

"No, they just took her in for tests, but I think Carlisle should be here for when they make their decisions on what to do to her." I told her.

"I'll tell him." Alice said.

"How is the escape plan going?" I asked.

"Not too well, Edward locked me in my room and had Tanya guarding my window." Alice complained.

"Tanya, what the hell is she doing there?" I asked.

"I don't know, visiting, being a prostitute for Edward, I don't know." Alice said, "I just want to see Bella." She whined.

"I know, tell Carlisle Edward won't let you go." I told her.

"I will, but should Esme come too?" She asked.

"Maybe, Bella was always happy when Esme was around. Not that she wasn't happy when anyone else was around, but Esme made her feel good." I told her.

"So is that a yes or a no?" She asked.

"Yes, but when you tell them, tell them out of hearing distance of Edward, he will kill himself." I commanded.

"Okay, look Carlisle is back and I'll call you before we get on a plane." Alice said.

"Alright be safe and careful of what you say." I told her.

"Yes Jasper, I love you." Alice said.

"I love you too, be careful." I told her and she hung up.

Alice's POV

I hung up from Jasper and banged on the door. "EDWARD LET ME OUT NOW!!!" I yelled.

"No, you're going to see her and I promised I there would be no reminders!" Edward yelled.

"I need to talk to Carlisle!" I yelled.

"Yeah, okay." Edward huffed.

"You know what, fuck you Edward." I said and walked over to my window. I looked out the window and Tanya wasn't there. I punched the window and glass shattered everywhere.

"No so fast Alice." Tanya smiled and jumped from the roof to meet me on the ground.

"Tanya, I need to talk to Carlisle." I told her. Boy did I hate this bitch.

"I can't let you; my Eddiekinz said I couldn't let you out of the house." Tanya said angelically.

She ran over to me and hugged me tightly. I elbowed her and dug my heel from my pump into her body; luckily these were only $20. I pushed the heel in as far as I could and then while the heel was still in her I put my heal down, the heel snapped and she screamed in horror.

"You fucking mess with me again you will die." I threatened.

I slipped my shoes off as I ran into the house, "CARLISLE!" I yelled, "ESME!" I yelled again.

I started to sob remembering why I had to talk to them and Edward holding me hostage wasn't helping the emotions.

"What is it Alice?" Carlisle asked.

"Both of you I need to talk to you out of hearing range." I sobbed.

"What is it?" Esme asked.

"No time, we need to talk, NOW!" I yelled as I saw they weren't moving. I grabbed the arms and I pulled them out into the forest out of hearing range.

"We need to go to Forks, the 3 of us." I told them.

"Why, Edward won't let us." Esme said.

"Bella has pancreatic cancer, she's had it for two years, and I just started getting visions about a month ago. Jasper is there now, we need to go, now." I told her.

"Dr. Snow will be able to handle it." Carlisle said.

"Carlisle, she is _dying._" I told him. He looked at me. "I swear to god if you so now cooperate I will kill you." I threatened, and I was dead serious and Carlisle knew it.

"Okay, let's get on a plane." Carlisle said and he started to go to the house.

"Wait, block your thoughts, if Edward finds out he will kill himself, I've already seen him go when Jasper was about to yell it to him." I warned, "He finds one wave of through of Bella in your head, he will leave and take you hostage like he did to me today."

"Let's go, we don't have much time before Edward comes to look for us." Esme said and we ran back. I back 3 outfits and my makeup, accessories, nothing more.

"Where do you think you're going?" Edward asked evilly as he was block my door way.

"I swear Edward, if you don't let me by you will end up like Tanya." I threatened.

"Oh I am so scared." Edward said sarcastically.

"Edward let her past." Esme said and as she pulled her suitcase out on the stairs.

"No, she's going to Washington." Edward defied.

"I am not, I'm going to meet Jasper at Isle Esme." I told him.

"Oh sure." Edward said disbelieving.

"Edward let her past." Carlisle said.

"NO!" Edward yelled.

That was I, my last straw. I lift my knee to his crotch and kneed him.

"AWWW FU------" Edward yelled and with his hands he guarded his dick.

"You mess with me again and my freedom, you will end up ashes in a fire," I told him.

"Yeah, okay." Edward squeaked. Thank the good fashion gods for inventing heels.

With my heels I stepped on his crotch again and he screamed bloody murder.

"Come Alice, Rosalie will handle the damages to the house." Carlisle said we walked out. Carlisle, Esme and I were off to see my sister.

In the car, I dialed Jasper's number. "Alice, are you on your way?" He answered.

"Yes, Edward is in pain along with Tanya, a broken window and Edward's dick is probably still throbbing from where I kicked and stepped on him, but yes we are on our way." I told him.

"Alright Alice, I'll see you at the hospital." Jasper laughed and he hung up.

Everything was going to be okay. If anything serious happened, we would change her…. Right?


	4. Was It A Good Idea?

Previously:

_"Alright Alice, I'll see you at the hospital." Jasper laughed and he hung up._

_Everything was going to be okay. If anything serious happened, we would change her…. Right?_

Jasper's POV

I sat in the waiting room wondering where Charlie to be here for her was. And as I thought it he appeared.

"Jasper Cullen?"He asked.

"Chief Swan." I greeted and stood up and shook his hand.

"What are you doing here?" He asked.

"Visiting Bella." I said.

"Is anyone else with you?" He asked.

"No Chief Swan, Edward is not present, and might not be, though I did called Alice and she Carlisle and Esme are on their way." I told him,

"Why, you all left, why would you care now?" Chief Swan asked.

"We left because Carlisle was transferred to LA; we have always cared about her." I told him, defending my family.

"Right, is Bella asleep?" He asked,

"No, she is still in getting tested." I told him,

"How long has it been?" He asked

"About 2 hours." I reported.

"Thank you Jasper, for coming and being here for her. She has missed you all so very much." Chief Swan smiled and we shook hands once more.

"It's my pleasure, I have always thought of Bella as a sister." I told him. He nodded and walked toward the nurses' station.

Not even 10 minutes later, Alice comes racing at human speed to me.

"Jasper." She cried as she sobbed and ran for my embrace.

"I know Ali, I know. She's going to be okay." I consoled. Esme and Carlisle were nowhere in sight.

"Where's the other 2/3 of the mission?" I asked.

"They're coming, I ran ahead." She said and I kissed her lips carefully.

"She's going to be okay." I whispered and she buried her head in my chest. "Charlie is here. But the Blacks left when Bella was taken in for tests." I told her.

"Where's Charlie?" She asked

"At the nurse's station." I told her and she let go and walked over to the nurse's station.

"Jasper." Esme said and walked over for my embrace.

"Hello Esme." I greeted.

"How is she?" She asked.

"Not well, she has lost so much weight I swore I saw her ribs. She can hardly laugh without coughing up a storm and she is just so heartbroken over us leaving, it's not helping the situation." I told her and Carlisle.

"Is there any good news?" Carlisle asked.

"Billy Black seems to be on our side." I smiled. "Jacob Black was fit to be tide when he saw me visiting with Bella. Billy came in and took him home for his behavior." I told them.

Esme grabbed the bouquet of flowers from Carlisle and took the card from the Pink and Yellow Tulips. She grabbed a pen and scrawled, _Happy Birthday Bella, love Esme, Carlisle, Jasper and Alice._

"Oh my god, it's her birthday." I said mostly to myself.

"Esme, Carlisle?" A voice questioned. Bella was wheeled into the waiting room by a nurse and Bella waved her away.

"Hello Dear." Esme smiled.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked.

"We came to see you." She smiled.

"Bella!" Alice cheered and walked over, Charlie trailing behind. She looked so deranged and disoriented.

"Hi Alice." Bella smiled a weak smile.

"How are you doing?" Alice asked.

"Not to good Alice." She answered.

"Dad, could you take me into my room, I've been standing for two hours." Bella asked.

"I'll get her." I offered and pushed her into her room.

"Thanks Jasper." She said she crawled back into bed.

"Oh Bella, these are for you." Esme smiled.

"Oh thank you." She smiled and took off the card, "Happy birthday, love Esme,Carlisle, Jasper and Alice." She read aloud.

"Oh you remembered." She said and sniffed the tulips.

She set them in the empty vase next to her and laid back.

"Bella, If the board allowed it, would you allow me to be your observer?"  
Carlisle asked.

"If it gets me better, sure." Bella said and Alice sat down next to her.

"If you'll excuse me." Carlisle said and walked out to find Dr. Snow.

"So Bella, you up to go shopping?"Alice joked.

"You seriously think I would be up to one of your shopping sprees?" She laughed and as ususal coughed at the end.

Bella hopefully didn't notice Esme leave when she coughed at the end. I heard small sobs outside the room in the hallway.

"I'll be right back." I smiled and walked out to Esme. She was slumped in a ball on the opposite side of the hallway.

"Oh Esme." I cooed and sat next to her. I sent a wave of comfort to her and her sobs started to lessen.

I could tell bringing Esme out here wasn't the brightest idea in the world, especially when she suffered the most when we left 2 years ago. But God forbid, if anything serious were to happen to Bella, we would change her… Right?


	5. Fixing Bella Swan

Previously:

_I could tell bringing Esme out here wasn't the brightest idea in the world, especially when she suffered the most when we left 2 years ago. But God forbid, if anything serious were to happen to Bella, we would change her… Right?_

Carlisle's POV

I left the room to find Doctor Snow and I walked over to the Nurse's center, the center of activity of an ER. I had an idea on how to fix Bell's problem, all I needed were her medical records.

"Hello Dr. Cullen." Jennifer greeted, other nurses and patients referred to her as Jenny, but Doctors weren't to have that type of relationship with a staff. It was stupid to me but that's what the board had made up.

"Hello Jennifer, how have you been?" I asked politely.

"I've been good; can I help you with something, or get you anything?" She asked.

"No, I'm fine; do you have a clue where Dr. Snow would be?"

"Uh, I'm not sure; did you want me to page him?" She asked.

"If you could." I smiled. She nodded and came over the intercom looking for Dr. Snow telling him to come to the Nurse's Station.

"Thanks again." I told her and walked back toward Bella's room. There in the hallway Jasper held Esme as she sobbed. I shook my head and smiled trying to lighten the mood.

"Oh Darling, we haven't even been her 30 minutes and you're crying already. I teased and she crying into my chest and Jasper nodded his thankfulness as I took over.

"My-My-My daughter is b-b-bald and d-d-dying." She sobbed.

"Hey, Hey now, I have an idea on how to fix it, Esme don't give up hope." I soothed.

"You do?" She asked hopeful.

"Yes, all I need are medical records of the cancer." I told her as I rested my chin on her head.

"Dr. Cullen." Dr. Snow said quietly, not wanting to interrupt.

"Dr. Snow, it's been too long." I smiled warmly as Esme back out of my arms and stood somewhat in back of me.

"Mrs. Cullen, nice to see you again." Dr. Snow acknowledged.

"You too Dr. Snow." She sniffed. "I'll let you two talk." She walked around us and headed off toward the waiting room.

"Jenifer said you needed to talk to me?" Dr. Snow said.

"I have an idea on how to fix Bella Swan's cancer." I started and we started to walk and discuss my idea.

Esme's POV

Bella, my daughter, once hopeful future daughter-in-law was bald and had cancer. I knew there was a God in heaven; I believed that whole heartily ever since I was a child. I prayed almost every day until I met Rosalie and my family became bigger. I could never find the time when I had a family to think about. I prayed on occasion but now I needed to get back into routine.

"Dear Father, my daughter needs your love and comfort, heal her and make her whole again. Give Dr. Snow and Carlisle the strength and patience to fix my Bella. Lord you are our only hope. In your blessed name Amen." I prayed softly and quietly to myself

"Esme, where is she?" A familiar female voice asked. I looked up and it was Rosalie and Emmett.

"What are you two doing here?" I asked

"When Edward said you, Carlisle and Alice left, I knew the only place you would take Alice was the mall or Forks, you would pack a bag to go to the mall." Rosalie said softly as she smiled warmly.

"Is my little sister okay?" Emmett asked calmly, a first for him. Maybe he was starting to realize that this was a serious situation and that he needed to be calm and serious.

"No Emmett, she's not doing well at all." I said, my voice cracking. My emotions were on full tilt sadness and I was on the verge of full sobbing again.

"Can we see her?" Rosalie asked.

"Alice and Jasper are in there now, I'm not sure." I told them. "I'll go check." I walked away and went toward Bella's room, leaving Rosalie and Emmett in waiting room.

Emmett's POV

So this was what it came down to, my little buddy, was dying of Pan something Cancer. Rosalie and I found Esme hunched over, her elbow resting on her knees, praying, Praying was something she hardly did anymore since we had additions to the family.

Esme had left to go see if we could see Squirt, but I didn't want to. A part of me did while the rest of me was in complete lock down that I would have to spend the rest of existence with no one to pick on or play around with. Sure Alice was fun to pull pranks on but no one could blush the way Bella did. I didn't want to see my sister in pain. I was always told cancer took away your hair because of the chemo, had Bella lost her hair in the two years I hadn't seen her? I've been trying to picture Bella with no hair, but it was hard not to. Esme came back 5 minutes later and said she was asleep.

"Em, why don't you go down to the gift shop and get her a birthday card." Rosalie suggested.

"Right, okay." I nodded and walked down to the gift shop. I walked down the card aisle and found a how aisle dedicated to sympathy cards. _Sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers._ One card read. If Bella didn't make it we would make her vampire… Right?

**Okay Hi again, thank you all for your thoughts and reviews, you guys are amazing. So, so far most of the Cullens are thinking the same thing, If Bella were to die, they would change her… Right? Well I don't know :) maybe :) so next POV is the dick head Edward. Okay just to let you all know, I am a team Edward, but I like to make Edward feel pain every once and a while so bare with me team Edward fans. :) thanks for reading, god bless. Carrie**


	6. Results Don't Always Come Positive

Previously:

_ "Right, okay." I nodded and walked down to the gift shop. I walked down the card aisle and found a how aisle dedicated to sympathy cards. Sorry for your loss. You are in our prayers. One card read. If Bella didn't make it we would make her vampire… Right?_

Edward's POV

The family was gone by the time I was home from taking Tanya to the airport, as she had fulfilled her duty to me for guarding Alice, even though it failed. Jasper had been gone for days now and I wondered where he'd gone. Alice, Carlisle and Esme had left as soon as Alice escaped when Carlisle was done his shift. Rosalie and Emmett were out hunting but they said they would be back by 8 pm and its 9 now. There was only one place they could have gone, the place I banned them from going. I told them not to go there unless I was with them; and obviously I wasn't with them. They had to be visiting Forks Washington, home of my angel Bella Swan. Although Jasper couldn't have gone to Forks, he would have killed her by now, he was part of the reason we left Forks to begin with. I grabbed a duffle bag full of clothes and headed to the airport… again, but only this time it was to find my family. Nothing else… right?

Carlisle's POV

When I had finished with Dr. Snow I found my son and daughter had joined us in the waiting room.

"What did Dr. Snow say?" Esme asked

"He said that it was a good idea." I started. Everyone let out a sigh of relief, "That's if she had just found the cancer, but she has had it for two years, she's not eligible for the surgery I had in mind." I finished. Esme bit her knuckle trying to hold back the crying and Emmett got up and busted through the double door, infuriated. Alice stood still and saw a vision and ran toward the exit. Jasper was quick to follow as he saw everyone looking at him.

What was going to happen if Bella didn't make it? One of us, most expected to be me, would change her right?

Esme's POV:

It only seemed logical to change Bella is that's what it came down to. I couldn't handle loosing another loved one. If Bella left us for good, that would be almost 2 1/2. It would be Bella Swan, my child I was carrying and lost to a miscarriage and the Edward we all had grown to love was now gone, he was the half. He has been so devastated and depressed since we left Bella and Forks. The only time he found happiness was locking Alice in her room, and he hardly wanted to do that anymore since she had become violent. But if Bella did die, Edward would soon find out and I wouldn't have lost 2 ½ children, I would lose all 3 children. Edward would take himself to the Volturi and he would kill himself that would make a solid 3 children. I couldn't bear to think about that, not now, not ever; but the time was going to come when I had too.

I soon walked out to the exit when Carlisle walked over to the Nurse's station for his office keys to do research. I needed some fresh air, to clear my head; it was a main priority at this point. I saw Alice and Jasper talking to Edward as I approached the automatic sliding glass doors. I walked out to where they were and got into the conversation.

"What's going on?" I asked.

"Oh so Bella breaks a leg and the whole family decides to lie to Edward and run to her side?" Edward snarled ignoring me. Jasper balled his fists ready to punch him, but Alice caught it.

"You don't know a thing!!" Jasper yelled.

"Oh and when did you become such a Bella Swan expert huh? Jasper SINCE WHEN?!" Edward shouted.

I spread my hand out and slapped him right across the face. He looked at me scared, "You will listen and you'll listen well." I started. "The one you claim to 'love' is dying of pancreatic cancer." I yelled. "So you chastise this family one more time, tell them what they can or cannot do, lock Alice in her room or do anything to the family, you will be living out on your own, And right now it looks like you need to start packing your bags." I threatened, "Right now you are making the Cullens look like a total ass!" I shouted, and stomped back into the hospital, _So much for getting fresh air._

Alice's POV:

Esme hit Edward, ESME!!!! Edward looked at Jasper and I astonished for the language and the threat Esme had just used. You could tell Esme had had enough of a situation when she yelled, but she never, ever got abusive.

Once Esme walked back inside, Jasper spoke, "What do you have to say for yourself."

"Why didn't anyone tell me?" He asked ignoring the question.

"I saw you kill yourself with the Volturi when I was about to tell you. Jasper and I thought it would be best if we told you when the time came closer."I explained.

"I need to see her… immediately." Edward stumbled.

"If you haven't noticed its midnight and she's asleep." Jasper informed with some acid in each word.

"The at least show me her room." Edward begged.

Jasper and I nodded and he took my hand and we walked back into the hospital, Edward hot on our heels.


	7. The Wide Eyed Stranger

Previously:

_"If you haven't noticed its midnight and she's asleep." Jasper informed with some acid in each word._

_"The at least show me her room." Edward begged._

_Jasper and I nodded and he took my hand and we walked back into the hospital, Edward hot on our heels._

Bella's POV:

I had fallen asleep when Alice and Jasper was visiting. But all night long, I dreamt of seeing Edward again. I always pictured it to be in out meadow, lying down, I in Edward's arms, like we always did. What had woken me was my heart monitor when it started to beep faster as my dream became a nightmare and Victoria showed up with Laurent.

I hit the Nurse's station button and Jenny came in. "Good morning Bella, would you like your breakfast?" She asked.

"Yes please." I smiled

"You have 3 guests, waiting for you, not to mention they are eager." She smiled

"Send them in." I smiled weakly. She disappeared and I rubbed my eyes. I looked over to the table where the tulips lay. They were still healthy but they needed to be in water soon. Jenny brought in my breakfast and then got a vase of water for my flowers as I asked.

I took a bite of toast and I looked through the glass surrounding the door and a blonde pale skinned woman came in. Behind her followed a brunette haired man I recognized as Rosalie and Emmett Cullen. I swallowed hard and the door opened and they slipped in. Jenny said there were 3 people, last thing I knew Rosalie and Emmett were only two people.

"Hi guys." I greeted.

"Hey little sis." Emmett greeted.

"Hello Bella." Rosalie greeted

"What are you two doing here?" I asked as I took a sip of orange juice.

"We can go if you want." Rosalie said quickly.

"No, no don't leave. I was just curious, Jasper said that he was waiting on Alice but Carlisle, Esme you and Emmett show up too." I told them.

"We came back from hunting and the whole house was empty, we figured they were all here." Emmett smiled calmly. I nodded in response as I chewed my eggs.

"Bella I have to apologize." Rosalie said.

"For what?" I asked as I swallowed.

"For being so rude and selfish to you." Rosalie apologized, surprisingly, she met it too.

"Oh Rosalie I never blamed you. You were watching out for your family." I smiled.

"Thank you Bella that means a lot." Rosalie smiled.

"So Bells, when are you going to ditch this germ infested place?" Emmett asked.

"I can't I've already been in here 6 months." I told him.

"Well I figured that much, that's why I give you this." Emmett smiled.

He left the room and came in with a huge teddy bear and Rosalie handed me a card.

I laughed and then coughed as he brought in the bear. "You guys didn't have to." I smiled.

"We wanted to." Rosalie smiled and I opened the card.

"To you on your birthday." The card read. I opened it and it started to sing, the chicken dance. I laughed as I read the comments Emmett wrote about Edward being an ass hole. I finished my coughing spell but then almost choked as I saw the 3rd visitor walk in.

"Did you read the comment about Edward being a gay pussy?" Emmett asked right as the 3rd visitor who walked in the room, who happen to be Edward.

"Edward." I breathed.

"Oh Bella." Edward examined me. His eyes scanned my face and bald head and then rested on my stomach showing how much weight I had lost.

"Emmett, Rosalie, can we have a moment alone?" Edward asked. I looked at them with pleading eyes, not to leave.

"Is that okay with you Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Can one of you stay?" I asked.

Emmett and Rosalie looked at each other. "I'll stay." Rosalie said and Emmett nodded.

"Just sit in the corner." Edward commanded.

"Edward." I spat "Last think I knew this was my room." I looked at Rosalie, "Make yourself comfortable, where ever you want." I started to cough violently and then was able to stop after a few minutes.

"Bella, I'm sorry." Edward started.

"For what?" I asked.

"For leaving, I lied Bella. Everything I said in that forest was a lie, all to protect you." Edward Explained

"So you lied to me, to protect me?" You took away my best friends. Most importantly, when you left, you took all of me with you. I was a complete zombie for over a month. Charlie finally took me to the hospital thinking I was going nuts and that's when they found the cancer." I told him.

"I'm sorry." Edward muttered.

"Yeah, you should be." Rosalie commented. He looked at her with a dirty look. "You're the one to talk." Edward told her.

"Jesus Christ Edward seriously, where did you go?" I asked bluntly.

"I'm right here." Edward said as if it were obvious.

"No, you're not." I said with a cough. Rosalie handed me my orange juice. I took another sip of juice before starting again. "The Edward Cullen I know is not here. The Edward Cullen I know would have never said that to Rosalie or locked his sister in her room, to block her from seeing her best friend." I shouted. My heart monitor spiked up and down rapidly.

"Where's the Edward I love who kept himself and was nice to almost everyone. He played his piano and came to school to see me every day? Where is he?" I asked

"I don't know people change." Edward mumbled.

"Well I don't want you in here until he shows up again." I told him and Rosalie escorted the wide eyed stranger out of the room.


	8. Arrogant Jerk Like Me

Previously:

"_Where's the Edward I love who kept himself and was nice to almost everyone. He played his piano and came to school to see me every day? Where is he?" I asked _

"_I don't know people change." Edward mumbled._

"_Well I don't want you in here until he shows up again." I told him and Rosalie escorted the wide eyed stranger out of the room_

Alice's POV:

Edward got exactly what he deserved; Bella kicked him out until he found himself again. Edward's been home from the past few days and hasn't returned to the hospital. Edward's been doing a little soul searching if you know what I mean, even though he believes he has no soul, but you get my drift.

"Alice, come on she's asleep you need to go hunting." Jasper said from behind me.

"No, I can't, just in case." I said.

"She'll be fine, all the machines are working like they should be working, you can see them, they are right there and everything is normal." Jasper said as he pointed to them and his hands placed themselves comfortingly on my shoulders rubbing themselves up and down, calming me down.

I looked at Bella who was safe and soundly asleep in her bead. I scanned the future and I saw us come back and her still alive. "Fine." I settled.

Jasper and I left and went hunting close to home just in case anything popped us to lead us back to the hospital early.

Edward's POV

She was right I wasn't who I was. I was a hard shell who found enjoyment in pissing off Alice so I wouldn't feel the hurt of loosing Bella. I locked away the old me in a safely guarded safe that was surrounded by bricks. I didn't or haven't let myself out yet, not wanting to feel a different kind of pain due to the cancer Bella was facing. I should have found myself again before I came to Forks, who wanted to get back together with an arrogant jerk like me?

I was sitting down at my piano and playing Bella's lullaby hoping that would lour the real me out and scare away the new me. I could feel me coming, all I needed was time, but the time needed to come quicker, Bella was dying and I needed to have every moment I could with her before she was gone… for good.

Carlisle's POV

I called a family meeting to discuss and determine our feeling on the situation handed to us. Of course Edward was not with us, but when was he _really_ with us? Both mentally and physically.

"What the emergency Carlisle?" Jasper asked as I had called Alice and Jasper back from their hunting trip early.

"I've called a family meeting of the 6 of us." I announced as everyone was now in my office.

"Is this about Bella?" Emmett asked.

"Yes Emmett." I nodded.

"What will happen when---"

"We'll get there Rosalie." I told her

"Carlisle what is this about?" Esme asked.

"We need to figure out where we stand with our decisions if something were to happen." I told them.

"I've already thought about that." Jasper said.

"Who else has thought about it?" I asked.

Jasper, Emmett, Rosalie, Esme raised their hand. I looked at Alice, surprised she didn't raise her hand. "You haven't thought about it?" I asked.

"I haven't allowed myself to think of it. I can't let myself feel the pain." Alice said honestly.

"I understand." I told her

"Has anyone asked Bella if she wanted this?" Rosalie asked.

No one raised their hand apparently that's a no.

"We should talk to her first before we make a decision." Esme said.

"I agree." I told them.

"Who agrees?" I asked. Everyone raised their hand.

Then that was it, we would ask Bella, what she wanted. "Uh, Carlisle I have a question." Emmett said.

"Go ahead Emmett." Esme encouraged.

"Whose gunna ask her?" He asked.

Everyone looked at each other. "I think Carlisle should." Jasper said.

"I'll do it." I shrugged.

Everyone nodded and disbursed out into the hall with their mates at their side and went their separate.

Bella's POV:

It's been four days since I kicked Edward out of my room, and it's been even longer since I've seen Jacob. I was reading a new book called _The Last Song._ **(Great book by Nicholas Sparks must read!)** My heart monitor beeped again and I looked at it with a weird look. It would stop soon enough; I was leaving my friends and family soon enough. The cancer was eating me alive I could feel it. The flowers the Cullens had gotten me matched my mood, dark and hopeless. The flowers petals were wilted and a petal had fallen.

There was a knock at the door, "Come in." I called. I book marked my place and Carlisle walked in.

"Hello Carlisle." I greeted.

"Good afternoon Bella." Carlisle smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine." I lied. I didn't need him worrying about me anymore than him and his family already was.

"Do you mind if we chatted for a little bit?" Carlisle asked.

"Uh sure what's on your mind?" I asked.

"I want to know a few things, kind of like a little update on what I've missed over the last 2 years." Carlisle smiled a warm smile.

"What do you want to know?" I asked. He thought about it

"Have you finished high school?" He asked.

"Barely." I told him. "I was out for chemo and I was throwing up all the time, most of my days out of school were by a bucket and when I was in school, I was hardly getting by." I told him.

"But did you graduate?" He asked.

"Yes, but I wasn't at the graduation ceremony." I told him.

"Right." He nodded. "What have you been up to since you were out of school." I looked at him like he was crazy. He was supposed to be a doctor right? Wasn't it obvious?

"Never mind, I don't want to bring up the past or hit a nerve but I need your opinion on something's. I don't want you getting upset either." Carlisle said.

I took a deep breath and nodded. "What's your opinion of the immortal life?" Carlisle asked.

"What do you mean; would I still want to become one of you?" I asked. "Is that what you are asking?" I said calmly

"Yes, something along that line." Carlisle said.

"No, not really." I told him.

"Why not?" Carlisle asked.

"I have nothing to live for." I told him simply.

"But you were so set against becoming one of us before we left…" Carlisle trailed

"Because…" I encouraged him to actually say it.

"Because you had something to live for, you had… Edward." Carlisle said his eyes were looking to the ceiling as if he were amazed with my theology.

"I can't believe how thought out you had this." Carlisle said.

"Edward had it thought out too… well I least I thought so." I informed.

"He didn't mean what he said." Carlisle said.

"I knew what he said was a lie when you all were gone. I just didn't think I was right until he told me in person." I told him.

"I give you props on giving him the boot." Carlisle smiled.

"Thanks." I smiled and coughed again.

"Does that happen often? The coughing I mean." Carlisle asked.

"Yes, if I laugh to hard it takes a few minutes to get over, and just talking I cough too." I told him.

"Have you ever coughed blood or threw up blood?" Carlisle asked.

"Yes, every time I throw up I throw up blood, every once and a while I cough blood but I have done that in weeks." I told him.

"Alright, thank you for talking with me." Carlisle said and he got up off the foot of my bed.

"See you later." I said and he left and walked out of the room


	9. I Can't Lose Another Sister!

Previously:

_"Alright, thank you for talking with me." Carlisle said and he got up off the foot of my bed._

_"See you later." I said and he left and walked out of the room._

Esme's POV:

Rosalie, Emmett, Alice and Jasper were sitting with me in the waiting room waiting for Carlisle to get out of his conversation.

"She's changed." I said

"Some could debate that it's not for the better either." Jasper added. Alice elbowed him.

"Her cancer not only changed her body, but it's changed her personality." I agreed.

Alice bowed her head in her hands and I could see she was having a vision. "I can't see her!" She yelled.

"Good after noon." Charlie greeted as Jacob Black followed behind him.

"Never mind." Jasper chuckled.

"Hello Charlie." I greeted and he gave me a hug hello.

"How are you Esme?" He asked.

"I've been better." I told him honestly. I could have been 100% better, but I wasn't.

"I understand that completely." Charlie smiled.

"Hi Charlie." Alice smiled.

"Hello Dumpling, how are you." Charlie greeted as he gave her a hug.

"I'm okay." Alice said sadly.

"Is Bella sleeping?" Charlie asked.

"She's in with Carlisle right now." Emmett said.

"Right, has she been okay?" He asked.

"Nothing has changed." Jasper said.

"Thank you for coming back and staying in the crowded hospital while I'm at work. Usually that's Jacob's job, but schools back in session." Charlie smiled.

"It's no problem really." I reassured.

"I'm going to check in with the nurses," Charlie smiled. "Jacob behave." He said glaring at him.

"Is Jenny on duty?" He asked as Charlie walked away, and with that Jenny walked past us.

Jacob scanned her up and down. "I'll see you all later." Jacob said and walked after her.

"Stupid dog." Rosalie snarled.

Carlisle came walking toward us and we all stood up to greet him. "What happen?" Alice asked.

"We need to take this somewhere else." Carlisle said.

"Oh no." I whispered and I hid my head in my hands and he put his hands on my shoulders and guided me to his office. I heard the rest of the family trail behind us and he sat me down in his padded chair and he started.

Carlisle's POV:

I sat Esme down in my office chair and then watched my family sit where ever they could fine. Alice lay on the therapy one armed couch with jasper sitting at her feet. She was about half the size of the couch so Jasper had enough room.

"So I went in and we started to talk about the past 2 years." Carlisle said.

"So bottom line, what happen?" My wife asked not wanting unnecessary details.

"She doesn't want it." I told them quietly.

Alice buried her head in the pillow and Emmett grabbed a pillow off the couch where Alice was laying.

"I CAN'T LOSE ANOTHER SISTER!" Emmett yelled and shredded the pillow. When Emmett lost his mortality to immortality he lost his younger sister and his baby brother. It crushed him as he went to catch up with his family from a distance and his little sister wasn't dating a good guy. The guy eventually killed his little sister and Emmett killed the guy. Her name was Amelia.

"Emmett, please." Esme cried as she was sobbing again.

"Why, why did she say no?!" Jasper asked.

"She had nothing to live for." I told them.

"But she was all set to go before we left…" Rosalie said trailing.

"She had Edward at that point; she thought they would be forever." Esme said solving the problem.

"THIS IS EDWARD'S FAULT!!!" Emmett shouted and ran out of the room.

Edward's POV:

I walked back into the hospital, a new person, well my old self. After locking myself in my room with only pictures and a piano, I was able to do it. I walked past Carlisle's office and I heard my whole family in there.

"She doesn't want it." Carlisle said. _She didn't want what?_ I scanned Carlisle's thoughts. He had talked to Bella about immortality. Emmett's thoughts were scattered all over the place. He was thinking about his biological sister and then all the times he had hung out with Bella.

"I CAN'T LOOSE ANOTHER SISTER!!!" Emmett yelled.

"Emmett please." Esme pleaded.

"Why, why did she say no?" Jasper asked.

"She had nothing to live for." Carlisle said.

"But she was all set to before we left…" Rosalie announced.

"She had Edward at that point; she thought they would be forever." Esme reminded,

"THIS IS EDWARD'S FAULT!!!" Emmett shouted and he was planning on leaving the room. I quickly out of hallway to the waiting room as fast as I could at human pace.

Was it my fault? Was it my fault she was dying? I had to see her; I had to convince her otherwise.


	10. She sat in my passenger seat hair & all

Previously:

"_THIS IS EDWARD'S FAULT!!!" Emmett shouted and he was planning on leaving the room. I quickly out of hallway to the waiting room as fast as I could at human pace._

_Was it my fault? Was it my fault she was dying? I had to see her; I had to convince her otherwise. _

Bella's POV

It had been a few days since I had talked to Carlisle; I still hadn't seen Edward, even though Alice said he was here in the hospital. I guess he was just there for updates and not visiting. The tulips the Cullens had bought for me, always seemed to match my mood. It was kind of weird. If I was feeling like shit, they would have looked like they were dying. If I felt good and I had the thrill to live, they would be full and bright of color.

Today I was happy and content so the flowers were in full bloom. I had just come back from tests when I heard a knock on my door.

"Come in." I called and took a sip of water. Edward walked in through the door and shut it quietly.

"Hello." I greeted.

"Hello Bella, how are you?" He asked.

"Content, how about yourself?" I asked.

"I am absolutely perfect and happy." Edward said with a huge smile that went from ear to ear.

"Have you found yourself?" I asked.

"Yes I have and I feel like a million bucks!" Edward cheered. He looked and sounded as if he was high, but I knew that wasn't possible, at lease for the Cullens it wasn't possible.

"Oh yeah, prove it." I smiled.

"How?" Edward asked.

"Uh, I don't… know." I said now that I thought about it. "It sounded better in my head." I smiled.

He chuckled. "So I hear you're getting better." He smiled.

"Yeah, I may be able to go home for a little bit it I keep making progress." I told him.

"That should be exciting." Edward agreed.

"Yeah" I shrugged. I coughed a little bit and took another sip of water.

"Bella, I have one question." Edward said.

"Shoot." I told him.

He fiddled with his fingers as he thought about the question. He took a deep breath and opened his mouth. I knew what he was asking. He just thought it would sound better in his head. "Yes." I answered.

"You don't even know the question." Edward said.

"I can read you like an open book when you are nervous." I smiled.

"Oh yeah, then what was I going to ask?" Edward played.

"You were going to ask if I still loved you." I said smugly.

"Am I that easy to read?" Edward asked.

"Yeah." I smiled.

"So you do still love me?" Edward asked.

"Yes, I still love you." I nodded.

"But didn't anyone else catch your eye?" Edward asked.

"If you mean the male nurses that roam around here, no and anyone else, no." I told him.

"Right." Edward nodded.

"Do you still love me?" I asked.

"Yes, very much so." Edward admitted.

"Oh." I said, with a feeling of relief. He moved toward me more and I examined his face. His cold hard hands placed themselves on my temples and his lips came closer. I waited for him to move in more and when he did, our lips met and the dead sensation of love and lust became alive again and it was amazing. Edward deepened it and I pulled away.

"I'm sorry." Edward apologized.

"Don't be." I said breathless, the sensation made my heart fly and it showed on the monitor.

"Be with me, once more." Edward asked.

"Edward." I whispered to him. "I can't do this to you."

"Do what to me?" Edward asked

"I can't do us and then I might not be around for much longer." I told him

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked.

"I can't be with you and then the next thing you know I am gone." I said dumbing it down for him.

"But you won't, you'll make, I know you will." Edward said quickly.

"No, Edward I won't." I said and put my hand on his cheek.

"Bella, if you honestly believe that, then be with me forever." Edward said.

"No, Edward I want to go to a better place. I want to go to heaven human." I told him.

"Then I'll never see you again." He said saddened.

"You will, because you'll join me one day." I smiled.

"So you'll stick to that idea, but you won't stick to the immortality idea." Edward chuckled.

"I'm sorry." I apologized.

"No." Edward said clearing his throat. "Don't be. I'll come back before you fall asleep." Edward said shaking his head.

"Edward." I said as was about to open the door.

"Yes Bella?" Edward asked.

"I'm doing this for you." I told him. "You have to know I will always love you." I added.

"You need to know that I will always love you too." Edward said and walked out to the hallway.

Edward's POV:

Bella loved me, but she wouldn't be with me. The sensation of her lips was still on mine, that kiss was amazing. It seemed like that kiss fixed all of our loose ends we left hanging two years ago. But Bella was dead set against _not_ becoming a vampire. It's as if we switched places. I sat in my Volvo in the parking lot, wondering what I was doing in here. I looked over to the passenger seat and there was my Bella, with her long brown hair and her blood, just as appealing. She was dressed in her prom dress she wore to the prom.

"Bella." I smiled.

"Please Edward, grant me my wishes. I love you but I lost my way when you left. Edward, I'm not good enough for you." Bella said.

"No, you're perfect for me." I sobbed.

"Don't, you just need to know I love you." Bella said.

"I love you." I whispered.

"I love you too. Goodbye Edward." Bella smiled and kissed my lips and then she was gone when my eyes opened from the kiss.

"_NOOOOO!!!!!!!!" _ Alice screamed in her head. I got out of my car and ran to the entrance.

"We have an emergency on floor 3, all personnel and staff available needed." A nurse yelled over the intercom. Bella was staying on floor 3.

Esme, Emmett, Rosalie, Alice and Jasper were all in the hallway, out of the way looking in through the glass where doctors were hovered around the bed where Bella lie.

"I'm so sorry." Alice said and I started to sob, my Bella was gone. Forever.

"She's gone." I whispered and Alice came over to me and gave me a huge hug. Alice sobbed in my chest as I just stood there stunned. Emmett was in total lock down.

"Oh Edward." Esme cried and she gave me hugs.

"I have to get out of here." I told them.

"No, you are not going to Italy damn it." Alice said pulled my arm back.

"Watch me." I said.

"I already have and the future can be changed." Alice said through her teeth.

"This isn't what she wanted for you!" Alice yelled.

I pulled myself away and walked out of the hospital.

**OMG Bella's dead!?!? HA yeah right I would do that. Anyway review! Carrie **


	11. I'll Be Guiding You

Previously:

"_This isn't what she wanted for you!" Alice yelled._

_I pulled myself away and walked out of the hospital._

Carlisle's POV

Bella passed in her sleep. She had fallen asleep for a quick nap and she slipped into the afterlife. What I wanted to know was where Edward was. I called Aro telling him not to grant anything Edward asks of him. Aro said he would try but if an offer came up he would take it. Charlie was in with her for his last goodbyes. Charlie was so stricken by the incident; I was surprised he wasn't expecting it.

"Alice, where is Edward?"I asked knowing I would regret my words.

"In his room at home in the Forks mansion, he's grieving on his own….again." She said sadly.

"Are you okay?" I asked

"N-n-no." She said and started to sob I pulled her into me; surly this wasn't the first for the day.

"Carlisle." Esme whispered.

"I know darling." I whispered. "I know." I said and kissed her head as I pulled her into me too.

Jasper came walking down the hallway and grabbed Alice from me and pulled his wife into him.

"It's going to be okay." I said holding back the sobs starting from me.

"She- she- she's gone Carlisle, there is no just running back to Forks to get her." Esme cried.

"I know dear, she touched all our lives." I said and it broke loose. I buried my face in her hair and cried with her.

Edward's POV

I walked into my room and saw the pictures of Bella and myself that I had scattered around the room for some me time. My sobs started to become harder, the one I loved was gone. There was no running back to Forks to get her. My baby girl was gone. The love of my life deceased.

"Oh Edward, you have made me so happy." She whispered in my ear.

"I want you with me." I cried to her.

"OH my sweet Edward, don't cry over me. I've gone to heaven and I love it here. Grandma Swan is here and so are your parents." She reassured.

"Tell them I miss them." I told her.

"They know Edward, they know. They miss you too." She said.

"Charlie misses you." I said

"I miss him, but I'll be watching over all of you." Bella said.

"Have you seen when I'll leave my family?" I asked her.

"Yes Darling, but you won't I'll be guiding you away." She said smugly.

"Let me change you, please." I begged.

"No, I'll be happy here and waiting for you." She responded.

"Then let me join you." I cried.

"No, Esme needs you." She reminded. "Your whole family needs you."

"When, give me a date when will I see you again?!" I asked her.

"Every day, I'll be with you." Suddenly she appeared in front of me. I was sitting on my couch and she bent over. "Right here." She said and pointed to my heart.

I shook my head and she held it still and kissed my forehead. "I'll be watching you Edward, and remember, that I love you." She said and disappeared, her voice was nowhere to be heard. She was gone, even her spirit was gone.

"Remember, I'm in your heart." She reminded and disappeared… again.

Bella's POV (Oh yeah the dead side of the story.)

I had fallen asleep and dreaming of Edward and me once again. Everything started to go white as if someone were flashing a flashlight in my eyes. I let myself go with the light and I was gone. I had died. I found myself sitting on something but I didn't know what and Grandma Swan across from me. "Hello Isabella." She said warmly.

"Hello Grandma." I greeted and she helped me up.

"Did your hair grow longer?" She asked and played with chocolate brown pieces of hair.

"I got my hair back!" I cheered.

"Yes dear, once you get to heaven you become normal again and all sins and illnesses are washed away." She smiled.

"Wow, so I could do a back flip again?" I asked.

"I wouldn't do that dear, you weren't that good when you were alive." She laughed.

"Are you Isabella Swan?" A woman asked. I turned around and there was a woman who looked like Esme but she had Edward's hair and green eyes. Behind her was a gentleman who looked _a lot_ like Edward.

"I am, are you Mr. and Mrs. Masen?" I asked.

"We are." They smiled.

"It's a pleasure to meet you considering under the circumstance." I smiled.

They laughed and nodded. We shook hands and Grandma Swan put her hands on my shoulders.

"Look dear," She said and moved a cloud I think it was out of the way and there was a sad man sitting on my hospital bed. The man there was Charlie.

"Charlie." I whispered.

"Go, talk to him in spirit." She encouraged.

"Just sit and louver yourself down." Elizabeth Masen instructed.

I sat on the cloud and I fell through the cloud. I expected to land on the floor but I landed 2 inches above the ground. I walked over to Charlie and told him that I knew I loved him. When he said different things I made comments and soon enough he had moved the tears out of the way and left the room, thinking I was a figure of his imagination.

I looked up and there was Edward Masen Sr. holding his hand down for me to grab it and I took it and he hoisted me up to where Grandma and Elizabeth Masen was waiting.

"Could we go to Edward?" I asked.

"Anything you need to do." Grandma said and she led me over to another spot. She pointed to a door that looked like Edward's door.

"Tell him we miss and love him." Mr. Masen smiled.

"I will Mr. Masen." I smiled.

"Call me Edward if you are comfortable with it." He smiled.

"And call me Elizabeth." Mrs. Masen smiled.

I nodded and walked through the door. Edward sat on his couch, his head leaning on a picture of us.

"Oh my sweet Edward, don't cry over me. I've gone to heaven and I love it here. Grandma Swan is here and so are your parents." I reassured.

"Tell them I miss them." Edward told me.

"They know Edward, they know. They miss you too." I said.

"Charlie misses you." Edward said

"I miss him too, but I'll be watching over all of you." I told him.

"Have you seen when I'll leave my family?" Edward asked.

"Yes Darling, but you won't I'll be guiding you away." I said smugly.

"Let me change you, please." He begged.

"No, I'll be happy here and waiting for you." I responded.

"Then let me join you." Edward cried.

"No, Esme needs you." I reminded. "Your whole family needs you."

"When, give me a date when will I see you again?!" Edward said pushing away the dry tears that weren't there.

"Every day, I'll be with you." I walked over to him and bent over so my face was looking to his. "Right here." I said and pointed to his heart.

He shook his head and I held it still and kissed his forehead. "I'll be watching you Edward, and remember, that I love you." I said and walked out the door. I shut it but stayed by it quiet. _She's gone, even her spirit was gone._ He thought but somehow I heard it.

I opened the door once more, "Remember, I'm in your heart." She reminded and disappeared back to Elizabeth, Edward and Grandma.


	12. Dont Make Me Get Your Mother

Previously:

_He shook his head and I held it still and kissed his forehead. "I'll be watching you Edward, and remember, that I love you." I said and walked out the door. I shut it but stayed by it quiet. __She's gone, even her spirit was gone.__ He thought but somehow I heard it._

_I opened the door once more, "Remember, I'm in your heart." She reminded and disappeared back to Elizabeth, Edward and Grandma._

Jasper's POV:

Bella was gone and everyone was devastated. We all knew it was coming but no one thought it would be so soon. At least she passed in her sleep. Alice is having a hard time coping with it. She says that she keeps hearing Bella as if she was right next to her. I was sitting on the couch in my suit, waiting for my family to get ready for Bella's funeral.

Esme walked down first with a white blouse and black skirt on. Carlisle waited for her and they were driving to the viewing early. Rosalie was next and she wore a black dress and open toed wedges. No one was behind Rosalie, we were missing Edward and Alice as Emmett was waiting in the car.

"She locked herself in her room." Rosalie informed.

"Mary Alice Whitlock get down here!" I called.

"I'm not going!" She called faintly.

"We'll meet you there." I told them.

"Edward, NOW!" Esme yelled, her voice echoing throughout the house.

"I'm not going!" Edward called

"So help me Jesus." Esme muttered and stomped upstairs.

Esme had been on edge and hard since Bella passes.

"Ow, ow ow." Edward said as Esme pulled on his ear, dragging him down stairs by his ear.

I walked passed them and walked upstairs to where Alice was hiding. I opened the door but it was locked. I shuffled my hand on the top of the door looking for the key and unlocked the door. Alice sat curled in a ball at her window watching the rain fall from the skies.

"Come on Ali, we have to go." I said sympathetically.

"I can't go." She said.

"Sure you can." I said trying to cheer her up.

"Don't force her Jasper." A sweet female voice said and I recognized her as Bella.

I stood still and froze, "Don't be scared. I'll be guiding your whole family through their grieving." She said.

_What do I do? _ I asked in my head.

"Don't force her to do anything." She said. "If anything, bribe her if you really want her to go." She added.

"Ali, how about when we are all done we go shopping at the mall." I conversed.

She turned her torso around. "Really Jazz, really. My best friend just died and you think you can bribe me to go by shopping?" She asked in disbelief.

"Uh yes." I said.

"You know me so well." She smiled and got up. She grabbed a pair of sunglasses and a small black veil that went to her eyes.

"You going to be okay?" I asked.

"I'll try." She breathed having her happiness of shopping leave her.

_Thank you Bella _ I thought to her.

"Just take care of her Jasper." She whispered and left me.

*After funeral mass and burial*

Bella's POV:

I had now been officially laid to rest and Mom and Phil were there, Angela, Mike, Jessica, Ben, Eric and most of the town was there, paying their respects. Jacob sobbed and cried like a little girl while Edward had a few sobs here and there. I sat with Edward spiritually the whole time along with Mom and Phil. Mom and Edward think they are going crazy, but they've always had a few screws loose.

"Isabella." Elizabeth called. I looked up from the cloud I was sitting on and she held out her hand for her to help me up. I took it and stood up.

"Call me Bella." I told her.

"Well Bella, you seem to be helping the family." She smiled.

"I owe them that much." I smiled.

"Well, once they are through this time, you can help no more. Only the ones who are still grieving are the ones you can see." She said.

"B-b-but I have to stay with Edward forever, whether in spirit or in a solid or what ever I can't leave him, not again." I said.

"He'll understand." She smiled and moved her thumb back and forth over my cheek.

"I can't leave him." I pouted.

"It's hard, but my son can get through anything…" She trailed as she looked over my shoulder.  
There was another cloud open, portal you could say it showed Edward leaving and getting on a plane to Italy.

"I told him not to leave!" I shouted.

"GO, NOW!" Elizabeth shooed and I ran over to the picture. It sucked me in and I was put in front of Edward who was grabbing money out of a book and 6 other letters addressed to his family. He started to walk to the door but I put my arm on the opposite side of the door frame and leaned my body on the other half.

"Where do you think you're going?" I asked.

"I'm coming to you." He said.

"I don't think so. You just put me in the fricken ground and now you want your family to put you in the ground too?!" I asked.

"All they have to do is just spread my ashes in the ocean, they don't even have to do that." He said.

"You leave and I will have your mother come down and slap some scene into you." I told him. He was a totally Momma's boy wither to Esme or when he was human, to Elizabeth.

"Ha, go ahead." He said and I looked up and Elizabeth jumped down.

"Edward Anthony Masen, you leave Forks and I will make sure you don't hunt for a year." She chastised. I put my hand over my mouth holding back the laugh.

"Yes Mom. Love you Mom." Edward said defeated and walked through us to his piano that was moved down stairs.

Elizabeth gave me a high five and we watched him play my lullaby as he sobbed and grieved over me. Was he really going to be like this? He would come to me soon enough… Right?


	13. The Last Time I Saw My Love In Spirit

Previously:

"_Yes Mom. Love you Mom." Edward said defeated and walked through us to his piano that was moved down stairs._

_Elizabeth gave me a high five and we watched him play my lullaby as he sobbed and grieved over me. Was he really going to be like this? He would come to me soon enough… _

(About one year later)

Edward's POV

My family has seemed to have healed over the course of one year. Today marked Bella 1 year death anniversary. We were all going to her grave to lay flowers with Charlie. Charlie hasn't been doing well at all. He's gained so much weight and he has huge bags under his eyes and it looks like he has slept his whole life, he's worse than if one of us hasn't hunted lately.

"You don't think it's possible to get Bella from the ground and change her do you?" Emmett asked as he was walking down the stairs and finishing buttoning his shirt.

"No Emmett, it's been a year. It won't work." Carlisle muttered.

"Edward." Bella whispered.

_Yes My Love?_

"This will be it. I can't be with you anymore." She said.

_No, you have to stay! I can't live without a piece of you!_

"You'll be okay. I am always in your heart." She said and appeared in front of me.

_Come to the garage._ I told her. She disappeared and I walked out to the garage.

She sat on the hood of my car. "Off my hood." I said aloud.

"I'm not on it, I'm floating on it." She smiled.

I chuckled and walked over to her.

"So why are you leaving?" I asked.

"I have to, you have found closer, and it's time for me to stop coming to help you create closer." She smiled and crawled off the car and walked to me.

"You can't leave me, not again." I said again.

"I know, I don't want to leave you either." She said as she adjusted my leather jacket collar, it didn't adjust obviously but I caught the intention.

"I love you so much." I whispered.

"I love you too." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"Why do you kiss me everywhere else except my lips?" I asked.

"Because I'm not real and both your parents and my grandmother said you looked like a fool kissing the air before when I kissed your lips." She smiled smugly.

"I'd rather be a fool if that means, I can't kiss your lips." He said.

"Oh Edward." She sighed.

"You can't go my Bella." I whispered.

"I'll always be with you." She smiled.

"Yeah I know, right here." I sighed and pointed to my dead heart.

She giggled and kissed my lips quickly, she disappeared. I got in my car and drove off to the grave yard. My family soon joined me in their separate cars, and pulled up next to me. I grabbed my umbrella and got out of the car.

"You're going to be okay?" Alice asked as she came up beside me.

"I will be." I said.

"She's left you hasn't she." She smiled.

"Yeah, she's been with me for closer." I told her.

"Me too." Alice smiled.

We walked down the lane of graves to where Bella lie. _In memory of Isabella Marie Swan, a wonderful daughter and the most amazing friend a person could ever have. September 13, 1990- September 19, 2009._

I had a bouquet of tulips in my hand and my family surrounded me with their black umbrellas and I lay the bouquet down on My Bella's grave and I looked at the stone once more as my family laid theirs on her grave. There she sat on the top of the stone, her arms behind her and her feet a little over an inch off the ground, "You did good Edward. I'll see you in a few years, Remember I'm always up there." She smiled and pointed to the sky.

_You're here too. _ I told her and pointed to my heart.

She giggled her bell like laugh, "I'm there too." She smiled, "I'll be watching over you always."

"I love you Bella." I said aloud.

"I love you too Edward, with all my heart and soul." She said and got up and kissed my cheek and when the wind and rain blew her body became un-whole and left with the wind. That would be the last time I saw my love in spirit, but I wouldn't run to Italy, not just yet. That's not what she would have wanted for me. I would wait a few months, maybe even a year or two. I needed to tie up loose ends with my family first, then I would hopefully join my love in spirit in the afterlife, if there was one for my kind.


	14. Epilouge: Together Forever

Epilogue:

Previously:

"_I love you too Edward, with all my heart and soul." She said and got up and kissed my cheek and when the wind and rain blew her body became un-whole and left with the wind. That would be the last time I saw my love in spirit, but I wouldn't run to Italy, not just yet. That's not what she would have wanted for me. I would wait a few months, maybe even a year or two. I needed to tie up loose ends with my family first, and then I would hopefully join my love in spirit in the afterlife, if there was one for my kind._

(2 years since the 2 year anniversary)

Edward's POV:

It was time, it was time to go home to my Bella, or at least I hope I'll get to where she was. My family has kept me under house arrest for the last 6 months but we were hunting and I deviated from where we were hunting and I ran to Italy. I called Aro and he said he was expecting me. Jane and Alec would be waiting for me under the clock tower. I had my last words written for everyone and the 'will' had been let on my couch. Everyone's letter was personal and from the heart. They lay on each one's bed.

"Edward Cullen, we have been expecting you for some time now." Jane smiled evilly.

"Well I've been meaning to come." I told her.

"Shall we take this someplace else?" Alec said and the escorted me to where Aro and the counsel awaited.

"Edward Cullen, how are you?" Aro greeted.

"I've seen brighter days." I told him.

"I see, let's take a look shall we?" Aro smiled and I held out my hand. Aro took it hastily and looked into my mind. Aro froze and then pulled away quickly.

"Gah, what kind of life have you lived?!" Aro chastised.

"A dim one and then a bright one for a year and a half and then a pitch black one." I summarized.

"Apparently." Aro agreed.

"What does he want Aro?" Marcus asked.

"For death of course, he missed his loved one." Aro said.

"That's all I ask." I pleaded.

"Carlisle did call and say not to do anything to you." Aro said wondering his own mind.

"But that was 3 years ago." I added. "I am begging you."

"Oh fine, you are no use to the world anyway." Aro spat.

"Felix, Demitri." Aro summoned.

My breathing hitched. _I love you Bella._ Felix and Demitri held my arms out and Aro put his hands at the base of my neck.

"Are you sure young Edward?" Aro asked.

"Positive." I squeaked

Aro tightened his grip and I was gone. I was dead.

Alice's POV

We were hunting and Edward was supposed to be with Jasper and Emmett. I saw him in Italy. He escaped. I grabbed Rosalie and we ran after him. We ran through trees and empty roads, his scent not to wash away with the rain that was falling.

"Where is he?" Rosalie asked.

"He's already there." I said shakily.

We were running through the trees and hit the Volterra wall. We sped walked through the gates and jogged humanly to the clock tower.

"_Felix, Demitri." Aro called_

"_I love you Bella" Edward whispered. Felix and Demitri held Edward's arms out and Aro put his hands on the base of Edward's neck._

"_Are you sure young Edward?" Aro asked._

"_Positive." Edward said._

_Aro tightened his grip and ripped Edward's head off as Felix and Demitri pulled Edward's arms and legs off._

I fell to my knees and sobbed. "NO, Edward's gone!" I shouted and Rosalie fell to her knees trying to catch me.

"W-w-we need to head b-b-back." Rosalie said picking me up off the floor as she started to hold back the sobs.

Bella's POV:

It was so hard for me to watch. He had killed himself. Grandma Swan held me close and Edward Sr gripped my shoulders holding me back from running to Edward. I watched Alice's and Rosalie's reaction in another cloud image.

"He'll be coming soon." Elizabeth said

"Hopefully." I whispered. Now was the time to see whether my theory was right, would all vampires go to heaven?

"When, when will we find out?" I asked a few tears streaming down my cheek.

"In a few minutes." Grandma Swan reassured. I cried and cried streams of tears in fear that he wouldn't come. I sat on a cloud and pulled my knees up to my forehead. I don't know how long I sat there but for what seemed like hours, a pair of warm hands embraced my shoulders.

"I can't live without him." I cried thinking it was Edward Sr.

"You don't have to." A familiar voice said. I tilted my head up and there was my Edward crouched me behind.

"Edward." I cried.

"My Bella." He said and he held me tight in a huge hug.

"Oh Edward, I missed you." I cried.

"I missed you too Love, more than you will ever know." Edward whispered

He looked me in the eyes and his green eyes sparkled. His lips came toward mine and they met. His lips were warm and soft against mine for once. Our lips rejoiced as they met again for the first time now that one of us weren't dead in 3 years. Someone cleared their throat and we pulled away. Elizabeth, Grandma Swan and Edward Sr were standing behind us, I blushed a light pink.

"Hi Mom, Hi Dad." Edward greeted and he held set me down and walked over to his parents and embraced them making up for not seeing them for over 100 years.

"Oh Sweetie, my you have grown." Elizabeth cooed.

"Uh Edward." I called and pointed to a cloud.

"You need to go to your family." I said and he joined me watching Alice tell his family what happen. Carlisle stood next to Esme, Rosalie stood next to Alice and Jasper and Emmett stood next to each other.

"Edward ran from Emmett and Jasper." Alice started "He went to the Volturi." Esme covered her mouth with her hands.

"He's gone." Rosalie said.

"No!" Esme cried and fell to her knees. Carlisle tried to catch her but she was already on her knees. Alice started to sob again along with Rosalie.

"This can't be happening to me!" Esme cried into Carlisle.

"He's gone to a better place.

"I can't go in there without backup, or I'll lose it." Edward said.

"I'll come." I volunteered.

I showed Edward how to go in and out of the cloud and we walked into the family room.

Edward looked to me and I nodded in encouragement. He crouched down to Esme.

"Hey Hey now, no crying." Edward cooed. She looked up.

"Edward." She whispered.

"I know, Esme, we go to heaven, I'm happy with my Bella." Edward told her.

Esme reached out to touch Edward's cheek, "You're human." She pointed out.

"I know, I love it." Edward smiled

"Don't sob." Edward pleaded.

"Esme, what are you doing?" Emmett asked.

"Edward, here, right here." Esme said.

"Bella comes to me everyone in a while." Alice shrugged. "She came to Edward too."

"Edward, we have to go." I called.

He looked to me with pleading eyes.

"They are starting to figure it out, when they are alone, that's the best time to talk to them." I told him. He nodded and I climbed up in the cloud.

"They're going to be okay." I reassured as I brushed my fingers through his hair.

"How do you know?" Edward asked.

"Because you survived didn't you?" I asked.

"Barely." Edward chuckled.

"I know, even if I told you not to." I nudged his shoulder.

"I've lived long enough with you Bella, I couldn't live with myself." Edward smiled and kissed my cheek.

***  
Edward sat down with each of his family when they were alone and they accepted his decisions. Edward was happy to be with his parents again, and Grandma Swan thought Edward was a great guy. So in heaven, Edward and out relationship continued where it left 5-6 years ago. Life in heaven with Edward was amazing.


	15. My Last Author's Note

Hey everyone, thanks for your love and support, I appreciate so much, when I got up this morning to check my email I had 42 inboxes and most of it was fan fiction reviews and faves!! I would like to thank everyone who reviewed. I have a new story about Jake and Ness up called Slipped Away and it's about Imprinting and a sense of déjà vu for the wolf pack.

So I hope to see you all in my new story and I wish you all best wishes and to keep on reading. With lots of love Carrie (carriekakes)


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